a thirty year love.

today my parents celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary; a thirty year love.

thirty years of learning how to be a couple without giving up who they are as individuals, learning hard lessons of what works and the harder lessons of what doesn't, understanding the importance of choosing which battles are worth fighting, and which ones are better off letting go of, building a family, creating a home, making memories that they will carry with them throughout the rest of their lives 
-- thirty years of that good, good love.

while writing my wedding speech, i found myself thinking of the most influential, constant relationship i had in my life up until then, which of course lead me to look back on what it was like growing up in my parents home and being surrounded by their love. it made me think of all that we went through as a family, and how it must have tested their relationship beyond my childhood comprehension -- both of them losing their long-time careers within years of each other and having to start all over again or having parents experience illness and the process of getting them well or having to say goodbye. it also made me appreciate the fact that there was always enough love to see them through -- there was enough love to make it worth each and every fight, to push forward and make it to the other side where they could stand hand-in-hand, and look at all they made through, together.

(a wee bit from my speech)

"i remember when i was a little girl i asked each of you separately who your best friend was. without hesitation, and hardly any thought, you both responded: each other. i now know what you meant all those years ago. your spouse has to be someone you want to spend every day with, fall more in love with, and always have your back when you need them. your spouse has to be your best friend, and i can tell you now, with my whole heart, that i have found my best friend."

when i think of my mom and dad and the love they have for each other, i am overjoyed, inspired and filled with pride, they are more in love now than i can ever remember them being, and i can see what they have and how it's similar to the kind of love in my own relationship. it reminds me that being with someone i can't live without isn't my right -- it's not something i deserve to have without working for, without giving my all to and being thankful for it each and every day, each and every year. and, if we're lucky enough, we'll have thirty of them too.